I had some serious plans for the day which at least included going for a run and working on my screenplay, if not changing the world or in some way bettering myself and others around me. Above all, these plans included NOT stealing my roommate's cookies because I am so hungry and too lazy to make anything myself. Fat chance on ALL OF THOSE.
I have one thing to blame for this and it is my bed. I have a little motto of inspiration for my daily life and it goes like this: "If I can make my bed, I can do anything today!" I haven't told anyone about this motto, but I'm telling you all now because I really think it is the only way I can get anything done. Here's why: when the bed sits there unmade, there is always the option of curling back into it and giving up on everything. When the bed is made, only success is possible.
At 11:30am I started to make my bed. Until this point I had slept in, made breakfast and had a phone conversation with a friend I hadn't talked to in awhile. Fair. Acceptable. Despite the fact that it was raining and in LA, rain is akin to a Category 4 hurricane, I was ready to face the rain once I made my bed. It is a small twin bed. Making it is not much of a project. It is merely a necessary step to move my day forward. And then...this happened:
11:32am: Straighten bottom sheet and tuck the corners in.
11:32 Receive a text message.
11:33 Pull comforter halfway over bed.
11:33 Receive phone alert of emails.
11:34 Goodbye to all hopes and dreams.
A few emails needed to be attended to, but none of them in any way were playing a huge part in my larger life. But they did take me away from the bed and to the black hole of motivation. I mean, the internet. I believe there was something about negotiating a work shift over Christmas because I'll be on the West Coast by myself for Christmas for the 3rd year in a row (thanks so much JOBS and also, BEING JEWISH). But after that..? I think maybe I was helping a friend with a problem? Or maybe I looked at my bank statement 8 times to figure out if I was ok or needed to panic?
I think I talked to my friends, I think probably about important things but could I have done that for 9 and a half hours?? I believe I spent time making a Facebook album because I had not posted any pictures of my California life yet, and just wanted to get it over with. None of this is justification by the way, just terrible, terrible evidence of
After that, it was a blur. I know around 3:45pm I went to my bed to finish making it, and then my friend called me to tell me she had just seen Conan on the street. And this distraction again took me away from my bed. My poor bed must have been screaming at me to be made so that I in turn could MAKE something of myself, but it was all over from that point on.
I accompanied my roommate to Chipotle for dinner. This, I suppose is an active action requiring more effort than typing keys. Maybe it counts for something. And even that took effort on my part when she asked me. No..I wanted to say...my chair will be lonely. The internet will be lonely. I don't even have a bra on. How am I still undressed?? There's probably no hope left. Chipotle? Blech. Internet. Only THE INTERNET. But I mustered up an ounce of self esteem. I didn't want her to go by herself, and it saved me from more impending food stealing from my roommates. Hooray for me. I returned around 7:30pm, and began to despair for how late it was. It was too late to go for a run. Besides, I had just eaten. I had to comfort my sorrow with the internet. Maybe a hilarious video? And then, somehow it was 9pm. WHAT JUST HAPPENED? How is it dark out? Will I ever succeed at anything in this life?
There was only one thing to do at 9:07pm, to save this lost day, to give me any hopes of going forward towards my goals and making my family proud of me. I think we all know what it was.
"Tomorrow is another day!"--Scarlett O'Hara, Gone With the Wind.
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