Westward Hoe: Utah, Arizona, Nevada

As you've probably noticed, these posts aren't exactly posted when I wrote them, rather written in the car and posted later. I know, its a mind blow, but time is an elusive beast (or something? I don't know). Utah, Arizona and Nevada happened very closely together, and I was driving for a lot of it. And for all you naysayers on my driving skills, I drove "quite well" --my dad.

The scenery in these three states was fureakin' awesome, and hard to describe unless you make the trek yourself. The Rockies in Colorado are standard beautiful mountains. But the canyons in Utah and Arizona are just bizarre. Especially in Utah; everything is so stark and open, like being on the moon (I know, having been there.) Scenic, but at the same time lonely and scary.

Still in Colorado, just outside of Utah.

Utah: Lunar Surface.

Big Ass Canyon (BAC). I think it's call the San Rafael Canyons but google isn't helping me out.

We stayed in Cedar City, Utah and I made the worst decision of my life in ordering a salad with shrimp for dinner. My parents told me DO NOT order shrimp in Utah, order meat, where they kill it fresh every day. But f that, I said. F that. So of course the shrimp came out tasting like curdled asshole (I know, having tried that). And I couldn't even order alcohol to sooth the taste! I guess sometimes we have to learn life's lessons the hard way.

It's pretty hilarious that the state of Mormons and sobriety is right next to Nevada/Vegas. Speaking of Nevada, what a truly terrible place. Just stretches of hot, boring-ass desert. And then Las Vegas appears out of nowhere.

Las Vegas in the distance.

UGH REVOLTING. The entire city is made up of hotels. Who thought this was a good idea?

It is still a destination of mine to go to Las Vegas with my friends, but driving through it in the middle of the day with your parents is not the way to see it. It looked like the worst theme park in the world. The whole thing is hotels and billboards for strip clubs and bankruptcy lawyers, all roasting under the 101 degree sun.

Fortunately, before horrible Nevada we nipped into Arizona for 20 minutes. Which was much better.

I suspect this is exactly what Mars looks like!

When I was young I had a rubbery yellow bear which was very dirty and crusty and my parents had to throw it away. But not wanting me to throw a fit, they told me instead that "Squeaky Bear moved to Arizona". And believing it like a chump, I diligently repeated "Skeeky Bear move to Azizona." Maybe he's among these canyons! Good family story, huh?